Ugh! Hmph *makes pouty face*

I want to get on here and say something along the lines of, "GUYS! I've been doing so fabulously! I've been taking my meds right and they're working well! I've been making friends again and I really am getting my life straight!"

Buuuut, no.

I was doing really well for a while! I was. But then... I don't know what happened.

It started with a few little problems, and then it turned into a full blown I-think-I'm-going-to-die-let's-go-to-the-ER event. -.-" Yeah, I'm still not happy about that.

So what happened? The short version is this: I flipped. I had a panic attack where I couldn't sit or stand still, I was freaking out, and I irrationally refused to take any medication at home. So we went to the ER. We spent 5 1/2 hrs in the freakin' ER.

Then, I woke up today and I could -not- go to school. My mom called my psychiatrist's office and got me an appointment. She had to work, though, so my dad took me. It was fairly uneventful. The doc ordered a new med for me to help with my sleeplessness and depressive symptoms (which I've been exhibiting again, big time) and upped my anxiety meds.

So now I'm on five different medications. HOPEFULLY this will help me out. I've been taking my meds like I'm supposed to and doing (some of) my relaxation stuff. *shrug* I guess I need to be doing more relaxation stuff, eh? Yeah, I know. *sigh* Okay. I will do more relaxation stuff. I will force myself.

So yeah, that's what's been going on. I'll keep you posted about how these meds work.

OOOH! I want a fishie. So if anyone has a fish they're trying to get rid of or just don't want anymore, I'll take it/them. I want a fishhhhhh. xD

Sooo....

So, I know it's been forever, and I'm sorry about that. You guys have been so good to stick with me when I was having rough times, I should do better about informing you when life is going well.

That being said, life is fabulous lately. My panic attacks are being kept to a minimum and I'm going to the regular high school for one class a day. My hair has been growing out and I've had to get it reshaped a couple of times. I had a mullet. It was disgusting, hahaha.

Yeah! I've been playing guitar a lot, which is mega fun. I've been learning a lot of new stuff and writing, although honestly most of my stuff is really depressing. I'm getting there, though. Once I get out of this whole "Being happy is really weird" thing, I'll be able to write about more lighthearted topics.

I've had a couple episodes since I last posted where I cut myself, but lately I've been doing soooo well. I've told my mom or someone when I get dangerous thoughts and I get myself out of a situation where I'd do something stupid.

I've been really happy lately, although I've had some issues with being around lots of people. *shrug* You win some, you lose some... But lately, I'm bi-WINNING. ;) Anyone who gets that reference gets a biiig hug. Bwahaha.

Anyway, I'll try to post more soon! Love you and thaaank you for reading. <3